Any TVD fan will agree that Elena was selfish, and made decisions that have done more harm than good. She was the star heroine of the series, but there was nothing heroic about her character. Her selfishness and inability to deal with loss resulted in many a tragedy in the show, and she doesn’t deserve the love she got. Scroll down to know why!
It’s been three years since ‘The Vampire Diaries’ aired its heartbreaking finale and fans said goodbye to Mystic Falls. Eight seasons and 171 episodes later, the supernatural drama surrounding witches, werewolves, vampires, and hybrids (people who are both) ended. The series aired between 2009 and 2017 and was based on L. J. Smith’s novels of the same name.
Highlights —
- She has no respect for Stefan and Damon’s relationship
- Elena is selfish in believing that Stefan and Damon’s life revolves around her
- Elena says she cares about the Salvatores but was prepared to kill an Original
Through the years, fans have had several questions about the series. While the last few seasons answered most of them, the question of which Salvatore brother deserves Elena’s love lives on. But the truth is the other way around – it was Elena who didn’t deserve the love of either Stefan or Damon. Often, fans have called out Damon for his toxic behaviour, but Elena, who everyone roots for, has made questionable decisions too.
Sure, she’s been through a whirlwind of traumatic experiences, but most times, she contradicts every belief viewers have of her. Viewers soon realise that Elena is selfish and controlling. Elena’s transition into a vampire heightens these qualities and she ceases to be the empowering, female protagonist they want her to be. And her treatment of the Salvatore brothers exemplifies that she doesn’t deserve either of them.
Keep reading as we revisit events where Elena’s convoluted decisions prove that she deserves neither Stefan nor Damon.
She has no respect for Stefan and Damon’s relationship
Eleven years ago, Elena and Stefan met for the very first time on our television screens, and it was epic. She was an innocent high school student, recovering from the traumatic experience of losing her parents. But destiny (or rather, the Salvatore brothers) had something else in store for her.

Her life becomes a tragedy of sorts with the brothers fighting for her love, and everyone else, for her blood. She is revealed to be a Petrova doppelgänger and looks identical to Katherine, Stefan and Damon’s ex-flame. The rather odd dynamic between the brothers falling for the same woman sees history repeat itself when they meet Elena.
Stefan is the kinder of the two Salvatores and has a big heart, even though it isn’t really beating. He’s calm and controls his vampiric instincts, and dedicates his time to restore some sort of normalcy in Elena’s life. She’s instantly drawn to him and they become a couple after just a few episodes in the first season.
But when Stefan’s brother Damon arrives in town, there’s tension between them. Elena treats Damon as a friend but the viewer can tell there are romantic feelings involved. And when Elena transitions into a vampire, she discovers that she loves Damon and they become a couple. Elena already knew about how Katherine had torn the brothers apart once before, and knowingly repeats the same mistake. She has no respect for their relationship and doesn’t feel the need to help mend it, but only makes it worse.
Elena is selfish in believing that Stefan and Damon’s life revolves around her
There is some truth to this – Stefan and Damon have travelled to great lengths to make Elena feel this way. The brothers have lived for over a century, made friends and enemies, had otherworldly experiences, but Elena feels differently. Upon returning from the underwater tomb, Stefan loses his memories and Elena takes it upon herself to help retrieve them.
Suddenly, she’s forgotten about what Stefan’s life was like before he met her. She talks about all the good times they had together and uses their memories as a ploy to help him. Elena is selfish and doesn’t even talk about his other good memories, of his family or best friend Lexi. He has other important people in his life like Caroline and Rebekah, and his brother Damon too!
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Damon’s temporary demise in season 5 makes it impossible for Elena to cope with his loss. And she does the unimaginable – she begs Alaric to compel her and make her forget about their memories together. Instead of grieving and healing with her friends, she decides to just forget about Damon. It’s irrational and makes the viewer wonder if she loves Damon or not.
Elena says she cares about the Salvatores but was prepared to kill an Original
Elena has maintained her protective feelings for the Salvatore brothers from the very beginning. She pretends to be their friend and doesn’t let the fact that they’re vampires take away from their friendship. But they’re the only vampires she cares about! Elena agrees to kill off an Original vampire, knowing that an entire line of their descendants will die with them.
Elena doesn’t take into account that if someone tried to kill Klaus, the Salvatore brothers, Caroline, and she’d die too. To save one person that she can’t afford to lose, Elena’s ready to do anything without thinking of the repercussions.
Elena, who seems to be worried about everyone around her, is often the reason for their deaths. She might have been the heroine of the series, but she really wasn’t as heroic as we believed her to be.
Do you agree that Elena is selfish and doesn’t deserve the sacrifices Stefan and Damon made for her? What do you make of her character? Do you think her acts in the show were justified? Let us know in the comments.
