It’s not the stone age – the thought of women enjoying no-strings-attached, mutually satisfying, casual sex shouldn’t be a surprise to people.
One of the most misleading misconceptions that are still around dating and the idea that all women are desperately seeking serious relationships. But news flash — we might not want to lock things down with the first person that shows even the slightest amount of interest in us.
The reasons that some of us women prefer casual relationships are as different as the women themselves: Some are prioritizing careers, or focusing on self- and dealing with broken hearts. Some currently are ready for a long-term partnership but can’t find the perfect one. Some are purely DTF and not feeling the romantic vibes.
It’s perfectly normal, healthy and usual to want a little something without actually caring about your date’s plans for tomorrow morning or ever. Men have been and still are doing it and people are in awe of them.
Below we have some women views on why they believe in this institution:
Don’t want to be tied down
I enjoy the freedom of being free literally, I don’t believe in being tied down to anyone. It’s a feeling where I like being independent and having the ability to do what I want when I want. I don’t particularly like shifting my schedule according to their demands and i like to do my own things at my pace. There is always this time period where I always like to express what I want and if they happen to want more then I say my goodbyes. This has been the best way so far, to let go before someone catches feelings.
Feel better: happy, almost freeing
Currently, no strings attached sex feels like the right fit for me right now because this is the happiest I have been. In a long-long time and it gives me an inexperienced joy that I’m enjoying. I’m excelling in my career, I have amazing friends, a super supportive family and adding a serious committed relationship into that just doesn’t feel like the right thing to do. I love that no strings attached sex provide me with the ability and confidence to carry on with my life without adding any extra weight to pull me down.
FWBs as a serious relationship isn’t a priority
It’s not that I’m avoiding serious relationships, it’s just that other things are a priority right now. These things include my health, my career, my social life, my family. And while being in a relationship is not on top of my list, having mindblowing, earth-shattering sex is!
I tend to look for a “no strings attached sex” situation where there is basically a physical and somewhat mental attraction. But there is also mutual respect and understanding of the exact situation.
Let’s be honest, the ongoing sex is better than a one-night stand and hence I prefer an ongoing hookup. I find as long as nobody gets their feeling involved, it can be a really great option. It’s definitely not for everyone, but I’ve had several amazingly successful no-strings-attached situations.
— Katie, 28
Like having new sexual experiences
I am currently moving to a new state for grad school for the next five years and in between this My ex-girlfriend and I have broken up.
Timing-wise, no-strings-attached sex just fits more into my life. I prefer it because I’m still getting to know new people and have my sexual desires fulfilled.
I’d say more of the women than men I match/go out with seem to assume that I want more from this hookup and that being a serious relationship. On such situations, I explain how I’ll be moving far away soon, and that I’m not looking for anything serious. This now a majority of people understand, and if they don’t or they are looking for something serious, we part ways.
— Sarah, 22
Doesn’t want to invest with emotions, time and money
Seeking no strings attached sex has always worked just fine for me. This is how I have done casual relationships always. It’s easier on my trust issues and I despise going on first dates.
Casual hookup or no strings attached sex is a way to sample relationships like smelling a new perfume. If you don’t like it, you can simply return it without a fuss.
When you formally are in a relationship, it becomes this big complicated thing where you are immediately and unmanageably entangling your lives. I have finally come to know myself and understand my wants and needs. I want sex and I prefer to do it with the same person or rotation of a few.
Serious relationships are complicated but sex doesn’t have to be. I have better focus and am more productive when I have regular uninterrupted sex, which makes the no-strings-attached sex most efficient way to go for me. I think that makes it more exciting.
— Alice, 22
The variety hookups provide.
Fostering a relationship is a huge investment of time and energy — which I’d rather divert to other things in my life. No strings attached sex provides a variety to chose from— it’s like sampling the whole box of toffees.
I’m always upfront with my dates right from the start, in order to avoid expectations. I tell them that I’m attracted to them, but am not looking for a relationship. After that, they decide if they want to be on board with that.
— Anna, 32
Keep my head clear no bullsh*t
I try to be super honest with one time friends. I definitely have a checklist with lots of points I want to get across. Even before even sharing my social media handles. Definitely, the best sex for me is the one where I’m sure I won’t have contact with them. Mostly like at a party or a club.
— Esme, 19
There’s still such a stigma around the whole thought that girls might just want a no-strings-attached sex life.
If a casual hookup or FWB ( friends with benefits) turns into a relationship down the road, that’s awesome. Although it’s normal for people to be in a place where they can actively meet people without having the intention of marrying them.
If that’s your way to go, keeping things casual, you’re not alone. There are many women cheering you on with every time they have a casual no strings attached sexual encounter.
So go out there and get casual!