I am a sexual being and i love having sex in forties. More sexual than some people I know and less than others. I go through cycles when my libido soars only to return again to a sexual slump where the act is the furthest thing from my mind.
For the most part, I suppose I have always had a decent level of sex drive. I started having sex at the age of 18 and in the past 25 years the longest I have gone without sex was the 11 months that my husband was deployed.
And I definitely took measures to satisfy my needs during that time.
Over the past 25 years of being a sexually active woman in a world where we are taught not to talk about sex, to feel shame about our “number”, and to embrace heterosexual monogamy as the only right way to have a relationship, I have discovered that with the wisdom of age and experience: Sex is exponentially better.
Here are 5 reasons why?
We are able to leave our insecurities at the door
We realize that men are simply happy just to get us naked. They think we are sexy regardless of our stretch marks, rolls, wrinkles and scars. They want a willing participant who is interested in them. They feel flattered that we are willing to take our clothes off for them. In midlife, we are able to embrace that notion and it helps us to shed our body image issues in that moment which leads to better sex.
We have learned that confidence is sexy
By the time we have reached midlife, we know our bodies better. We know what we like and what we don’t like. We certainly don’t have the bodies we had in our twenties, but we have something deeper to celebrate. Self-confidence is far sexier than gym-toned abs.
And confidence in the bedroom makes your sex much better.
We are not afraid to speak our minds
By the time we can count our sexually active years in decades, we have learned what we like, what we dislike, what we are willing to try, and what is completely out of the question. And we are not afraid to make it known to our partners. Communication is key to great sex.
Many times it takes us until forties to develop the communication skills necessary for amazing sex.
We are more open minded
With a lot of sexual experience, we are also are less intimidated by new things. We are more willing to try new things that we didn’t have the confidence to try when we were younger. Sexual creativity takes on a whole new level as our worlds have expanded and our exposure to many different ideas has grown. Stepping out of the box with your sexual creativity can lead to the most amazing sex ever.
that we didn’t have the confidence to try when we were younger. Sexual creativity takes on a whole new level as our worlds have expanded and our exposure to many different ideas has grown. Stepping out of the box with your sexual creativity can lead to the most amazing sex ever.
We know how to get the job done
By the time we have reached our forties, most of us have had a lot of sex. But here we are at a point in life where we find ourselves busier than ever with time to appreciate life’s little joys. So when we make time for sex, we make sure it counts. Nobody has time for sex without oh-gams. There is no point in that. By midlife we have learned the art of orgasm, giving and receiving.
So all sex, boring sex, quick sex, and even bad sex, can be satisfying sex because we perfectly know how to get our job done.
You may see myths that claim that older women lose their ability to oh-
They know what it takes to get there and are not shy about making it happen.
Some tips for great sex in midlife
Set an intention
Talk to your partner; what is it that you both want? For a lot of couples, sexual intimacy leads to emotional intimacy, which enhances the relationship. So if libido is low, you may have to be more intentional and more creative about setting aside time for intimacy, rather than just waiting for it to happen.
Be a little creative
Shake up your routine. Experiment with some new activities. Try new positions (which might also help with pain issues). W
Experiment with vibrators and other sex toys. Do some online shopping in the privacy of your home.
Over-the-counter vaginal lubricants and moisturizers can be very helpful for women with mild to moderate dryness. Moisturizers are typically applied every day or two, while lubricants are used during sexual activity.