It sounds like a dream and fantasy comes true to have an Eff buddy who you can just canoodle with and have no commitments what so ever.
In fact, it is just exactly that- ‘only a dream’. Cause reality hits us hard when we go deep into this arrangement of no feels. It’s a dream and nothing more.
Its a convenient idea as friends with benefits come with the familiarity of a friend and comfort of person you are close to. And if you are a person who was born with an optimistic bone and a true believer of making your dreams come true come storm or battle, then please read on.
Its basic science we are talking about. Here are a few reasons why the benefits part of the title is anything but total sh*t.
1. The physical has the power to impact the emotional
Our bodies by nature are created to release chemicals during any physical intimacy that affects our brain and in turn, it affects our rationality. (Bombard him after a night of passionate sex? Well, my brain high on dopamine says yes). Your emotions are played by your heart high on endorphins and serotonin so it can be pretty confusing to do the right thing.
That physical and emotional connection will cause you to keep coming back for more—until you find yourself in a deep pothole of an extremely unhealthy and dangerous cycle that can leave you alone and miserable. (So either have a helluva control on your mind or ditch the whole system cause you know you gonna get those feels up in your panties and heart)
2. It will ruin the friendship
No! You aren’t Mila Kunis or Natalie Portman who are going get a grand happy ending. Life isn’t a movie, it’s a real sh*t show which telecasts after midnight and only TRP it gets is from people banging and wants some noise in the background so that their neighbours can’t hear them moaning and screaming.
Once you develop the feelings, you are gonna start expecting more or act in a way which really doesn’t come under the benefits. (This includes breakfasts, cuddles, envy, gifts, and flowers.)
Don’t go down this hill or you will get a crack in your heart the size of the red sea.
3. It will hinder new relationships
Do you date or you don’t? Can you have sex with someone else or not? These questions are bound to happen if the deal wasn’t properly defined beforehand. It’s ambiguous and chaotic, to say the least. Plus you will be so occupied with this set up that you will hardly ever get time to look outside for love or anyone worth pursuing.
SO unless you are planning to remain single all life or wants to pull a Barney Stinson as long as you can, then don’t opt for friends with benefits cause that’s an emotional turmoil and nobody got time for that.
“If you want this friend with benefits to work, you should make sure that you have a residency for another planet cause that’s the only way it can work”
4. It will be awkward
So you try it and it doesn’t work out. Since you are friends, you will be bound to meet each other on several occasions and for the sake of friendship would have to spend time with each other. You know it’s awkward to see a person in the same lights once you have seen them naked.
“You can hide from awkwardness, but you can’t run away from it”
5. Jealousy will creep in
So a person you are sleeping can’t make it because he is out on a date. Well, that’s not cheating. But to imagine someone who is in your arms in the night and on a romantic date with someone else in the afternoon can make your blood boil. Chuck the exclusivity in the bin.
Since you guys are just friends and nothing more, you have to be okay with things such as that, but who has ever been okay with sharing someone they love? Keeping that green ugly monster named jealousy at bay will be a task.
The main issue is that sooner or later you will ruin your casual sex with conversations and feelings cause you can’t stop them. Next thing you know there are cuddles, sleepovers, brunches with their family, and all the while you are emotionally paralyzed cause its nothing more than sex but it surely doesn’t feel like.
AND THEN BAM it’s only a matter of time that they get into a real relationship and the benefits go out of the window- along with the friendship.