I am Maria 36, and I’m paralyzed with quadriplegia and I am a sex worker. My decision to become a sex worker was a long journey but its not sob story. Rather a journey to leading my life on my own terms.
Its almost like I took the power back from it.
The complicated thought of being paralyzed and being a sex worker don’t go hand in hand. And for obvious reasons! People always assume things and the outcome of most of the assumptions is that disabled people are not able to enjoy or even feel the pleasure from sex. In addition to that, we face judgement in all places in life. Pressure from society is unbearable. They look down upon us with sympathy for illogical reasons like we can’t bear children and then with utter disgust if we wish to still have a fulfilled sex life.
My sex life:
Fulfilling sex life isn’t just about the mechanics or a time period. Everyone wants sex to feel great, but that part is more complicated than it looks.
“With a complete spinal cord injury, the traditional definition of an orgasm becomes impossible, That’s where being open-minded is integral. On the other hand, being open not only to new sexual experiences but also finding pleasure in different ways can help someone rejoice sex post-injury.
I don’t look at my disability as a problem or an issue when I’m working, it in no way comes in the middle of my profession. I just meet and tell the men how it’s going to be like. It’s not easy obviously and I do have to do things differently. But I break it down for them and let them know that what you see is what you get. And then in the bedroom, it’s the same thing.
I tell them what I need and what I like and what is absolutely off-limits.
The turning point came in my life when I was struggling at my worst and met a distant friend who suggested this line of work. However bizarre that sounds for a disabled woman to be a sex worker, I gave it a try and it suddenly pulled me out of a dark tunnel.
Why did I choose to become a sex worker?
That’s not as complicated as being a disabled woman. I had various factors one obviously is not able to do anything as such. But my life changed drastically and this came to me as someone threw me a lifeboat in the middle of the ocean.
Always felt very lonely
They say adversity hits like a truck, just in my case it actually did. I was abandoned by all my friends and I stopped expecting them to turn up at my place anymore. Soon I took up a job but then again, how much interaction do you think abled people make with the disabled ones?
I felt like a burden, it pulled me down to my worst.
Started making good money
At my previous job, I was getting paid pennies. As a disabled woman, how much do you think any wage can suffice for my medicines, even basic living or hiring a nurse?
Yes, most people look down on me for even wanting to have sex but here, there is a lot of money. I am able to hire full-time help, pay my mortgage and actually live a life without feeling like a burden on this planet.
Done with sympathy
This is the only thing people have to offer to a disabled person. And it’s probably the only thing that doesn’t help. I was done feeling helpless and just a sad story. I decided I was more than someone’s words of condolence.
Was down to my rock bottom
Meeting with adversity changes lives in ways you never imagined. I went through a phase where I believed it was okay to die rather than live a life like this. I thought of taking my own life! Now that I look back, I thank my stars that I made it to this day.
Made me a sexual Goddess
Who doesn’t love positive attention? that’s right. After my accident, I was just another person in this world that people felt pity for. But then I started exploring, I found men who can me to for sex. In addition to that, they treated me like a princess, almost worshiped me. They praised me, my body and all I was doing for them.
It gave me back the self-esteem I lost when I lost the sensation in my body.
Why men come to me for sex:
This is a common question that’s often asked as it leaves people wondering. Why would a man want to have sex with someone who literally can’t move? Does the concept of a paralyzed sex worker even exist? But people fail to understand there are dark demons in hidden within. They are out there dealing with things we don’t know about.
1. For a better sex life
Men not necessarily have the best sex life, they could be married, single, or they might just be conscious. Moreover, they like to come and have sex with me as I don’t have expectations of what they should be.
2. For companionship, and to fight loneliness
Many men feel they have no real connection in this world. Moreover, they crave it.
However, they like to not have sex and just sit and talk without being judged.
3. To satisfy a specific doll fetish
We all know how men love this, they want to take control of the women. Similarly, they like women who are lifeless but give a real live human feel. That’s me for them. I don’t think it’s demeaning in any way. It’s a fetish and I’m happy to help.
4. Ego boost
What is better for a man, than to take full control of a women in general and that he gets from a disabled one. The ability to do their wish often gives them a sense of pride and happiness.
5.Liberating for men
As I hardly ever orgasm, there is no chase to satisfy or make a women climax. They simply go at their speeds, decide their rhythm and just enjoy sex for satisfying their personal need and are not judged for it.
Even though life dealt me the worst cards, I managed to make a full house out of it! I have risen from the ashes like a phoenix and turned my life around.