Think you’re a Casanova in bed and know everything about sex? But there’s a thing or two that will surprise you. There are still a number of sex myths that existed in history and are still believed among many. Here are a few sex myths that are so downright weird that you’d want to debunk the sh*t out of them.
Let us help you separate fact from fiction!
Farts Caused Erections
Aphrodisiacs are foods such as, Oysters, chocolates, nuts, wine, etc that are supposed to increase your sex drive, making you feel horny. But we don’t think of food that is grassy and heavy to make us feel turned on, do we?
Sure, they taste better but they have nothing to do with our libido. But up in the 18th century, Roman physician Galen believed food that is “warm and moist” and “windy” (by windy they mean foods that make you fart) were aphrodisiacs.
Imagine if every time a guy farted, he had a boner.
Spicy foods, carrots, asparagus, and others were thought to get people sex crazy. Why? BECAUSE! People used to believe that erections were caused by wind lifting the wiener! I can’t even begin to tell you how absurdly wrong this is. But I trust you all have read science and basic sex ed.
Sneeze- A Contraceptive?
People really used to believe this hysteric myth, that in order to prevent pregnancy during sex, you needed to sneeze. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯? I feel exactly like this emoji.
I don’t want to ask why, I just want to ask HOW? How is that even possible.
Greek Physician Sonorous recommended a woman do squats, sneezes, and then rinse out her vagina to avoid getting pregnant.
Oh well, if this were the case, no person with allergies or cold would ever get pregnant. Honestly, I wish it were that easy- no condoms, no pills, no unwanted pregnancies. Just sneeze away from the semen.
Mas-turrr-bation Cures Hysteria
Uhmm..needless to say, this sex myth is crazy. Starting in the first century A.D, hysteria was described as a female-specific mental-illness.
It was believed to be the result of a “wandering womb” i.e. abnormal movements of the womb in a woman’s body, Uh okay?
It was thought by the then ‘experts’ that an ohh-gasm could help cure a woman of her insane symptoms. As a result, the vibe-raa-turrs came into existence to help the doctors with their reaaally challenging jobs.
You can’t get pregnant from rape
GENIUS! I want to worship whoever came up with this myth.
Surprisingly this myth isn’t something that was believed by people in the former centuries. Republican Senate candidate Todd Akin, in 2012 (Yes, the 21st century) told KTVI-TV that “If it’s legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.”
By which he clearly meant that a female body has a way to reject the sperm so it doesn’t fertilize.
WTF? I’m sorry, either my brain isn’t able to process this whole statement OR THESE PEOPLE HAVE COMPLETELY LOST IT!
*breathe in, breathe out*
Shoe Size ≠ Pen!s Length
I pity all those people who still believe this sh*t we used to believe in high school.
Relax guys, your shoe size has nothing to do with your dong.
According to a 2002 British Journal of Urology study by The University of California’s Wellness Centre, 104 men between the ages of 17 and 85 were measured.
Much to the joy of men everywhere, the study found “no association between the foot and pen!s size.” So ladies, next time you go on a date with a guy, don’t judge the book by its cover, I mean don’t try to estimate the pen*s size from his shoes.
And boys, even if you are a tiny dancer, it doesn’t matter, and chances are the lady in your life doesn’t care. According to the American Psychological Association, 85% of women are satisfied with their partner’s size.
So, you can take your horse to the old town road, and ride till you can no more.
Pineapple Won’t Make Your Semen Taste Better
Sure heavy oily food like pizza, burger fries and especially asparagus really can make your pee smell bad, but stuffing on a pineapple isn’t going to make your semen taste like a fruity syrup. (although it probably won’t hurt)
The best way (according to “experts”) to improve your semen taste is to start a healthy balanced diet, drinking plenty of water and practicing good hygiene. Same goes for the ladies.
Masturb*ting ruins your eye-sight
Back in 1758, Samuel Tissot, a Swiss physician, believed that ‘the more semen a man lost from jerking off, the worst his eyesight would be.
He actually wasted his time writing a whole book on the disease of mast*rbating, while he could have just invested that time mast*rbating. Hah! Loser!
His absurd book actually made people believe that mast*rbation itself is a disease that causes a variety of symptoms.
There are people in this century who still believe this myth. If you’re one of them and reading this, let me tell you, mast*rbation is an art of loving oneself. It helps you to learn a lot about the body. Plus, it has a wide range of health benefits to offer.
Got get that fisting, fingering going!
Periods Deform Babies
The French believed that if you had sex on your period and got pregnant, the baby would be deformed or premature.
The curse: A Cultural History of Menstruation, outlines the history of period myths. The book says that a baby conceived while a woman has her period will be “puny, languid and moribund, subject to an infinity of fetid maladies, foul and stinking.”
Well, at least they thought you could actually get pregnant on your periods. But there are a few people out there who still believe that you can’t get pregnant while having sex. (Yes, it is a BIG fat lie)
Sperms are Tiny humans
In the 1600s, after seeing sperm through a microscope, scientist Johan Ham and Anton Van Leeuwenhoek came to the belief that little humans lived inside of sperm.
And wait! This weird weaving of thoughts in the air just didn’t end here. They also believed that the women did not provide anything for conception to take place.
Sperms aren’t orbeez that grow when soaked in a women’s body. Okay?!
I mean, can these myths get any more stupid?
Masturb*tion = Flat chest
In the Victorian era, it was thought that women who mast*rbated would be underdeveloped and have a flat chest. Hmm, well I guess I finally have an excuse to give for my flat chest.
The misconceptions and taboo surrounding the idea of sex will always have some kind of myths floating around in our society regardless of the era we’re living in. Here’s a funny one I got from one of my naive friends…
My friend told people that girls won’t get pregnant if she was on top because of gravity…WOW! Defying all the laws of gravity. I hope his girlfriend is doing great.
I think that’s enough bullsh*t for your brain to take in today.