Communication is often the prime reason for both success and failure of a relationship.
Watch those words!
We’ve all have said things to each other that we din’t mean and often regret saying. We’re only humans at the end of the day , we are wired to be imperfect. While our significant others tend to be the people we are closest to , with whom we share everything with, he or she is still someone who deserves to be spoken to and treated with utmost respect. For this very reason, experts advise refraining from using certain words and language towards your partner. Here are some of the words and phrases they recommend removing from your relationship vocabulary.
Always and Never
If you’re looking for words that can add fuel to fire between two people, it’s these that top the chart. “Always and never statements are often used in an accusatory and argumentative context, which invokes a defensive reaction to clarify the exaggeration. Defensiveness causes a breakdown in communication because when you are defending your position you are not listening.And perhaps the only thing that was required here was to express and be heard. Instead REPHRASE. For example, say things like, “When you ____ I feel ____,” or “I really need your help with something I’m struggling with” instead of pointing allegation bullets at each other.
Should
Heard of the saying, “shoulda, woulda, coulda?” While it might have a different meanings the general consensus and observation is that phrases that involve “should” pigeonhole an individual into doing, saying, or feeling something imposed. This word often invokes and encourages controlling and judgmental interactions. So much so that thinking ‘should’ about your partner, or being on the receiving end of a ‘should,’ remark creates a negative mood and can be hurtful for any relationship especially a romantic one.
Calm down
There are so many ways to handle an argument with your significant other, but one surefire way to make things worse is to tell them to calm down. This phrase leaves your partner feeling unjustified, unheard, and completely put down and snubbed. It sends out a message ‘I’m correct, but you need to calm down and relax,’ or ‘You are all alone in this.’” Instead, choose to say something along the lines, “Let me help you with this,” or “Can we just take a breath first and slow things down.”
Why don’t you
Whatever you say at the end of this phrase its only likely to sound like criticism of something your partner didn’t do, say, think, or feel. Experts suggest trying to make a request instead. For example, I really appreciate when you put the dishes in the dishwasher when you’re done with your meal. Could you please do that for me?
Perfection
Unless you’re complimenting your partner that he or she is perfection, one should remove this word from the marriage vocab. Perfection is an impossible goal, whether we expect it of ourselves, our partner, or we have some insane utopian idea that our relationship must be perfect. If you are trapped in pursuit of perfection, you may remain unhappy and dissatisfied because you are chasing the impossible plus, you will also be pressurising you partner to attain something unachievable. Instead, use language that focuses on striving to do their best and be the best version of themselves.
Divorce
This D word is an an absolute no no and it’s incredibly ill-advised to ever mention, let alone threaten, a divorce unless you really, really mean it. You can’t take back a statement like that so easily and it has the potential to destroy the strongest of bonds.
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