There are certain things that change once you get married. There are many opinions on marriage out there but the truth is…
You do not want to get wedding advice from anyone, trust me, nobody has anything to tell you that would actually help you out. In fact, most of the time, their advice does the exact opposite.
What is something you don’t want from anybody but everybody wants to give it to you.
There are two ways marriage advice can go-
“The first year of a wedding is the most wonderful year of your life. Cherish it.”
“The first year of marriage is the hardest ever, watch out kiddo.”
I cannot even begin to express how this polarisation in advice can affect a person. It is caused by their own perceptions, that is a fact. But how different is being married to your partner than just being together?
First year marriage truths:
Marriage won’t change your relationship:
The first and foremost thing you need to know? Even this event won’t change how your relationship with your partner works. One of the funnier reasons that marriages go downhill in the first year is the fact that there is change.
Or shall I say, the lack of change in the relationship?
The event of getting married will not change the person you are with. It will not make your partner cleaner, caring or romantic. The person you are with is going to stay the same and your relationship will stay as good or bad as it was before getting married.
It is not the end of your sex life
One thing should be very clear to everybody – your sex life is only what you make it. You can be doing it daily, you can do it weekly, monthly or never. It is all upon you to choose.
It is recommended to do it everyday but your sex life is a choice you make.
There will be factors that affect your libido – weight gain, money stress, job stress; you shouldn’t have to stop enjoying the best thing in your life over that.
Your first year of marriage should have wild stories about how you get down and dirty. In fact, why only the first year? All of them should. If you stop that, it is by choice and not because of circumstances alone.
Money Troubles are real
The most common problem faced by newly-weds is the awkward mixing up of finances. If it is your first time living together in the same house, you are going to have some talks that will not be welcome.
Talk about finances before tying the knot guys. How difficult does that sound?
The main thing you need to understand is, be practical. If you are practical about your finances it will be easier. You won’t face a marriage which is financially stressful for you or for your partner.
The thing is, once you are married, you are home when you are with your partner in life. You have to be damn sure about them in the first place to not walk out on them. There are a few things you will need to understand about fighting and arguing.
The intention of arguing is to solve the issue at hand, not for winning.
- Don’t sleep upset with or angry at your partner.
- You probably don’t need to fight over most things.
- Using the silent treatment is forbidden.
Conflict is something that every relationship faces. Conflict resolution without hurting your partner is more important than to win a stupid argument.
What about ‘me time’?
The hardest part of any marriage is the fact that you actually never get any space from each other. On your usual days, that shouldn’t be a problem.
We all have bad days, days when you don’t want anybody around you. Once you get married that’s probably gone, you think.
You may have had hot sexual tension before getting married and endless nights of long talks and walks. What after? Things will change when you change them, getting married is not an issue.
In fact, sexual tensions tend to rise after getting married when you know what you and your partner enjoy in bed.
These truths will help you in getting through and enjoying your first year of marriage.