The silent treatment is a bad way to express yourself. It can even worsen the situation of the relationship. But if you’re too mad to talk to your partner, here are the right ways to use the silent treatment.
It is always better to not say anything is how most people rightly justify using silent treatment when in an argument. You instinctively use all the wrong words and it can get really messy.
See, all relationships have their ups and downs. It is how you deal with a low point that determines the direction your relationship is going to take.
It determines the quality of your relationship, it’s longevity and the loyalty and trust you share with your partner.
Sharing how you feel with your partner can be the deciding point for the bond you have with your partner.
What is Silent Treatment?
Anybody who has been in a relationship has experienced this at some point or the other.
In layman’s terms, the silent treatment is not talking to your partner when you are angry at them. In some cases, prolonged despite the efforts of your partner to get to you, it is a difficult situation for you and your partner.
How does Silent Treatment effects your relationship?
The silent treatment is bad for your relationships, whichever way you look at it.
Here’s how:
#1 Fear in love:
The use of silent treatment to get away from the situation is essentially isolating your partner and pushing them away. Consequently, this leads to your partner being scared of what you are thinking, since you are not sharing how you feel, worsening your situation.
#2 Consequent lies:
The silent treatment leads to more and more lies. It may feel good to not talk it out but you are inflicting pain upon your love for something that they did or said.
This consequently leads to your partner
#3 Broken trust:
The build-up of constant lies will eventually lead to the bond you have built over the years to fall apart under the weight of lies and lack of communication that you create, isolating both you and your partner.
What this will lead to is the complete obliteration of your relationship or worse yet, your partner cheating on you.
If it’s so bad, why use it at all?
The silent treatment is a weapon. And like any weapon, it needs to be used in a way that makes a point without killing your relationship.
If your partner refuses to understand what you are saying, if they deny your feelings, it’s time to use the secret weapon.
Do you find yourself victim to hurtful behaviour? You are ready to use your weapon.
After all, sometimes you won’t be left with an option but to use the silent treatment on them for the lack of understanding and rising frustration.
When you use the silent treatment wrong and how to correctly use it:
You should not use it all the time. It has to be a very rare thing to go MIA on your partner if you want it to have any significant importance in your relationship.
You using the silent treatment casually for every little thing will lead to frustration build-up in your partner’s mind. It will enrage them for your behaviour towards them which not what either of you wants.
This could even lead them into repeating the behaviour that annoys you just to get back at you, even if you don’t know about it!
Here’s what you should not do, even when you’re using your weapon:
Don’t ignore your lover: Don’t lock yourself and isolate your partner. If your partner tries to talk to you, tell them you need time to put yourself together because you are or upset by what they did. Don’t completely ignore you partner when you are using the silent treatment.
Don’t leave your partner in the dark: Tell your partner about how you
Don’t walk away: Even if you are too mad to talk to your partner, don’t walk away from the situation. Listen to what your partner has to say and how they feel. If you walk away in the middle of a conversation, you are building a wall between the two of you, an emotional block.
Don’t attack your partner: Verbally or physically attacking your partner disrupts the entire relationship. Try and do your best to keep your calm. Don’t urge your partner to talk about it and then get angry because they are going into detail. Listen to their side completely, as much as it hurts.
End the silence:
If your partner tries to make it up to you, don’t accept the apology and simply walk away.
Sit together and talk about how you feel about what happened between you two. Discuss how to fix things, try to get to the core of the problem so it doesn’t happen the same way again.
Listen to their perspective and talk to them about how you felt or feel.
At the end of it all, both you and your partner should apologise to each other, maintaining the balance of the relationship.
Now that you know how to use your weapon correctly, use it if you must next time you’re furious. But remember, staying silent can never fix anything.
