When it comes to a relationship and you’re bonding only in the bedroom, its a warning sign. Meaning, your relationship might not reach a deeper, emotional level. When one partner begins blaming the other in the bedroom, or withdraws from intimacy, very rarely do couples look at what is going on outside the bedroom.
However, the point they forget is that good sex begins outside the bedroom, and bad sex rarely happens when the rest of the relationship is well supported. Although couples come in seeking help in the bedroom, the problem rarely begins there.
A fix for the problem? Engage in sexy little things outside the bedroom to become more intimate in other ways and increase the chances of your relationship succeeding in the long run.
Remember, if your bedroom has become more of an office or reading room than a place for lovemaking, changing your out-of-bed behaviour as well as tweaking your in-bed behaviour can go a long way!
Watch: How To Increase intimacy In Your Relationship
Here are some tips to make sure you get your relationship to the next level:
Communicate and Appreciate!
If your partner is hurt or angered by something you said, ask them why. Sweeping feelings under the bed will definitely affect what happens in the bed; the ‘thinking won’t make a difference’ approach is naïve at best and insensitive at worse.
Watch: How To Communicate Better In A Relationship
Couples should prioritize cherishing each other and making small gestures of appreciation. Everyone wants to be appreciated and, in marriage or long-term relationships, kindness and thoughtfulness become very important.
An unexpected cup of coffee, offering to do laundry, taking over a chore your spouse finds difficult or bringing home a small token of affection means so much to the person who loves you most.
Give Your Partner the Intimacy They Deserve
If your partner feels ignored, except in the bedroom, they can start to feel taken advantage of or used.
Work on giving them attention without them having to ask for the same like maybe, sending them a text to ask how their day is going or asking about the day ahead in the morning (and REALLY listening) helps your partner feel supported.
Greeting them when they come home and sharing their successes will reassure your partner that they are still important to you. This builds trust in the relationship, which is vital in enhancing physical and emotional intimacy.
Initiate Sex Outside the Bedroom
You know when you wake up and your partner wants a quickie before breakfast and a shower, or when you make a plan to go to sleep but end up fooling around instead.
Similarly, take advantage of the moments outside the bedroom to heat things up and then move to the bedroom. Text them awesome things like perhaps a kiss or winking face emoji or, if you’re feeling bolder ‘wanna make out’ or even ‘meet me upstairs at 8’ The element of surprise will break you out of your familiar routine and add some spice to an otherwise uneventful weeknight.
Seal Up the Intimacy Lock
Shake things up and get a little kinky by reading erotica together when outside the bedroom. The story provides a little inspiration for those who might not know where to start.
Another option here could be that if you and your partner watch porn together, it can help move things to the bedroom eventually, or it’ll at least spark some good ideas for different positions, role-play scenarios, or fetishes that you might be interested in trying. Just be sure your partner is on board before diving right into something adventurous or controversial.
Lastly, remember that it’s never a good feeling when right after sex, someone gets up. The act of sex itself is intimate, so why not bask in the afterglow? Establishing rituals with your partner before and after sex is important to seal up the intimacy.