Is it okay to date your friend’s Ex?
The forbidden fruit from the Garden of Eden. We have all been guided against having it. We have heard legends and stories where it leads to catastrophe. It’s a taboo in the world of friendships. But just like Eve, sometimes we just can’t help but be enchanted by its magic and charm.
No, we aren’t talking about Sex, but something close and with one letter less-EX. No darling, not yours, but your friend’s Ex.
Liking your friend’s Ex can be a sticky situation to be in. You know it’s a thin line to walk on with your friendship on one side of the scale and someone you love on the other. Choosing your feelings over your friend’s feeling is not a cake walk.
No matter how ethically wrong it may sound to your conscious, this situation doesn’t need to be a life or death dilemma if it is treaded with caution. After all one woman’s trash can for sure is another woman’s treasure.
First one must grasp the fact that we as beings full of emotions, mood swings and hormones (Damn these hormones) are not in control of who we fall for. The chemistry between two people is like the first half of Newton’s first law of motion. It can’t be created nor destroyed. But chemistry is just there or it is not. So what if this chemistry you share is with the Ex-lover of your sister from another mister,
it’s okay to be in love regardless.
First things first you need to have an introspective session with yourself. Are these feelings you are having genuine? Do you really like this guy? Is this worth taking the risk? Or is it just your another man crush Monday which will have another feature next week?
And only once you have come to a conclusion that it is your heart speaking and not just your vajayjay, Should you go ahead.
Next step to solve your dilemma requires you to put on your diplomatic hat and strike the best deal there is between you and your friend. Now you need to let your friend who is in the middle about your feelings for her ex-lover.
If she isn’t okay with the two of you doing the nasty, then you better not do it with a hasty.
You need to sit her down and talk about your genuine attraction towards the guy. If this builds a bridge of understanding between the two of you and she is willing to let two of you love birds indulge then RUN. Run to the guy before she changes her mind.
But if your friend is still not over him, doesn’t want to lose you as her friend and in turn, your love for her is deeper than Adele’s voice then you must wait and give her time as you also need to understand her point of view. We all can make relationship mistakes once in a while.
But if this friend of yours is never going to get over him, refuses to acknowledge your feelings and if your love far trumps this friendship then we repeat ‘Run to the guy’.
Now if at this stage if you so far have been able to date this guy without sacrificing your friendship, then this is not the time to open that bottle of champagne and celebrate because beyond this point lies traps of insecurity, envy, uncomfortable third wheeling, awkward conversations and most important of all joint events where all three parties are required to be present.
Not that we are trying to scare you but merely advising you to pull up your adult panties and be reasonable throughout both the relationships. After all, you will need bridesmaids at your wedding right.
This might seem like a lot of work but if at the end of the day it’s done with a proper mindset, an impeccable understanding, and a good intent, then nothing can stop you from having the best of both worlds.
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