Cheat me once. Shame on you. Cheat on me twice. Shame on me. Cheat on me every day. Shame on who?
Should have I seen it coming? Or was my partner a pro at cheating that even FBI couldn’t catch him doing the dirty? These were the questions that revolved in my mind when my boyfriend of one year dumped me and left behind him a trail of secrets that I got to know long after he was gone.
It was only after that I heard the term serial cheater in a movie that I connected the dots in my life.
The red flags were shining in my face all along but I was too ‘head over sexy heels’ in love that I took them for granted.
So I would like to share my wisdom on the subject and tell you all about how to spot serial a**hole cheaters from a mile away.
“Let’s keep things light”
They are masters of manipulating and words. They would never plunge for the serious kind of set ups. Cheaters only look for fun times and don’t want any commitment. So these serial cheaters would never talk about the future. And when you ask them directly they will just say ‘let’s keep it slow and see where things lead to’. If it’s been more than a year and things are still slow between you guys then you should know-
that’s some horse feces being fed to you.
“I am confident and I know it”
They can charm a cactus and make love to it. They are that smooth. People who are not nervous, awkward, and never at a loss for words, is impressive… and rare. If your partner looks too cool in the scene and is avoiding sharing any personal details about themselves, chances are that they are too used to the idea of dating.
“A man with charm is a very dangerous thing”
“All my ex’s were wrong”
They would never accept their fault in past relationships. Never the one to take the blame on their heads, they are quick to point out faults in others for their grievances. Even if they admit to cheating in the past, it was due to the negligence of their partner that made them do what they did. (Umm no, run away darling)
“On some level, cheating is justified”
Unlike one time cheaters who are regretful and introspective about their behaviour, serial cheaters see cheating as a part and parcel of human lives. There isn’t a single bone of regret in them and if they have this kind of justification for their infidelity then we repeat-
RUN FOR THE HILLS.
“You were the other woman once”
There are exceptions to this but if at the beginning of your relationship s(he) was seeing you behind someone’s back then chances are they will repeat it. No matter how much they told you that they were afraid of hurting their supposed lover or couldn’t break someone heart, it isn’t ever okay to lie someone that you love them. Ever. Ever. Ever.
“I am a very private person”
Oh lord! If you are private then keep your azz private too, why bother entering a relationship? They will hardly share anything about their family, childhood, friends or career. And the thing they will keep the closest to their heart is their phone in the name of privacy issues. The relationship is one ship, meaning you share if not everything then most things on this sea journey. (Darling if your lover is reluctant to give you their phone even after a year of being together then SWIPE HIM LEFT in real life)
“I just want to give you space”
Aww! Doesn’t that sound lovely? But if giving space means not asking or bothering enough to know what’s going in your life then this space is anything but ‘Aww’. “If your cell phone went dead and you were unable to contact them for more than 24 hours it might surprise you to find your date hadn’t attempted to reach you,”
Forget that idiot and DUMP HIM.
“I can’t control it”
The words these pathological liars use are “Sex addiction” or “fear of commitment” (What a self-diagnosis. Initiate slow claps). Unless they legitimately have a problem they’re seeking treatment for, this may not be true. “Watch out for someone who uses these types of excuses for treating you badly,”
“I have no regrets for cheating before you”
Followed by “Because it made me find you” (I might just die of a cough attack). They are effing arrogant and azzholes about their attitude for others. This red flag should really make you turn your sexy back on them.
“Aint nobody got time for that”
There is no excuse for cheating. It’s a choice, never a mistake.