Though we’re still meeting in bars and going to see movies together, dating today would be largely unrecognizable to people 10 years ago; changes in how we find our dates, how we treat them and how we describe ourselves to them have radically altered the dating landscape.
Dating is not what it used to be. You even need to understand a completely new language for modern dating in order to not make a complete fool out of yourself.
The convenience of dating apps has made the world of modern romance a pretty insensitive place.
There are even new terms to describe the ways you can be poorly treated on today’s dating scene. With so many modern dating concepts out there, it can be hard to keep up.
Here is a list of the most commonly used modern dating terms to help get you up to speed.
Cushioning
If you are cushioning someone, it means you are dating them but you don’t think it’s going to end well. Instead of cutting loose, you prepare for the breakup by chatting and flirting with several other people, to cushion the blow when it happens. Why they don’t just bite the bullet and initiate the breakup.
Stashing
This term denotes being someone’s guilty secret with no introductions to friends or family. Awks. It’s like they are ashamed of you or hiding you. It’s also a real indicator of a manipulator and someone who wants to end up controlling your activity.
Benching
Benching is when you’re not into someone enough to commit to officially dating them, but you don’t want them to move on and find someone else either, so you string them along just enough to keep them waiting on the sidelines for you.
Ghosting
This is particularly cruel and in fact, also cowardly. This is when the person you have been with suddenly disappears without a trace. You may have been dating a few days, or a few months but one day they simply disappear and don’t return calls or respond to messages.
The person may even block you on social media to avoid having to discuss the break-up.
Breezing
The opposite of “playing hard to get,” breezing is the ultimate easy-breezy “I-care-so-little-I’m-going-to-text-back-right-now.” You are doing everything in your power to prove you don’t care, essentially. In short, not playing any games have become the new playing the game.
Slow Fade
The slow fade is a bit like ghosting, without the full commitment. They’re not particularly interested in taking things further, but instead of saying so they gradually start to cut ties. First, they stop being as responsive to texts or calls, then they may cancel plans and be unwilling to arrange new ones. Eventually, the communication between the two of you dwindles into nothing without the decency of having a proper conversation. How mature.
Zombie-ing
While ghosting describes someone who suddenly disappears off the face of the earth with no explanation, ‘zombie-ing’ is the act of suddenly re-appearing and acting as if nothing has happened.
Side barring
Is there anything more infuriating than being on a date with someone who is paying more attention to their phone? You’re officially being side-barred. This is when you’re on a date and your partner is constantly on or distracted by their phone, unable to be completely present with you.
Haunting
While ‘ghosts’ vanish from the face of the earth, perhaps more infuriating is a ‘haunter’, who clearly spies on you via social media without actually making any direct contact. Boo.
Cookiejarring
So you have been seeing someone for quite some time and want to have a little extra security, just in case. You start getting a little friendlier with someone else, so you have something to fall back on if it all goes wrong.
If you are guilty of this then you are officially cookiejarring.
Give yourself time to get to know someone without the influence of anyone else and if things just don’t work out, then that’s okay – trying to understand why and learning from it could give you valuable insight into what you are looking for in the next potential candidate for your affection.
Breadcrumbing
Breadcrumbing is when somebody seems to be pursuing you, but really they have no intention of being tied down to a relationship. The person may send you flirty but non-committal messages to keep you just interested enough — like leaving a trail of breadcrumbs for someone to follow.
Catfishing
This is both creepy and scary and happens when a person pretends to be someone they are not.
They use facebook or other social media to create false identities, specifically to pursue online romances.
Kittenfishing
“Kittenfishing” is like a less severe form of catfishing. It refers to when you present yourself in an unrealistically positive way on your dating apps — for example, by only using photos which are years out of date or heavily edited, or lying about your age, job, height, and hobbies. The lies are immediately obvious if you do meet up, so just don’t do it.
Dating means two things; disillusionment or a racing heart
