Love is a very complicated feeling. It can change the way your whole body feels and the way your brain functions. Being in love and being loved is such a powerful feeling that it can change your whole outlook towards things.
But have you ever thought that all this excitement, butterflies in your stomach and heart racing could be something entirely different? It could just be obsessive love.
The truth is that we could be mistaking love for obsessive love. We think we’re head-over-heels in love and totally crazy about our partner only to find out that we’re actually really obsessed with them.
It’s a tricky thing to differentiate between real love and obsessive love. These suggestions can help you determine if you’re truly in love with someone or just obsessed
It comes slowly
It’s easy to think that true love happens all of a sudden and hits you hard when you meet ‘the one’. But that’s not actually true. Sure, you can catch feelings for someone and start liking them a lot, but that’s not true love.
Real love takes time to grow and involves a lot of communication about desires and does not mean to rush things.
Real love isn’t a rapid-fire, it’s a slow burn
Thinking of them makes you smile
Love is when you think about them and smile for no reason. Thoughts of them just bring a glow on your face and make you feel good inside-out. You daydream and night fantasize about them.
It comes easily
Real love cannot be forced. When you fall in love with a person the feelings come naturally to you. It’s like breathing. You cannot make someone love you forcefully. Love doesn’t work like that.
Love is not about forcing the pieces to fit, it’s about falling into something that fits naturally.
–by Marisa Donnelly
Their happiness matters more
When you’re truly, madly, deeply in love with someone, their happiness matters more to you than anything else in this world. When you see them smiling it makes you happy, that’s real love.
You want to work out your issues
No relationship is perfect. We all have fights, arguments, and conflicts even in the healthiest of relationships. But, the point is that instead of ignoring these issues and blaming it on the other, you openly discuss them and try to fix them.
You feel comfortable
When you’re around your partner you don’t have to think twice before doing something and be your most real self. You’re at ease with your feelings for them. You feel satisfied and happy. And that is what matters the most.
Love is Comfort
You recognize their flaws and accept them
Everybody has flaws. But what matters the most is that you accept these flaws and embrace your partner for all that they are. These flaws can make you love them even more.
You might feel the “love at first sight” feeling when you first meet a person. But, that is not real love and more likely an obsession. The more you rush things, the harder it is for you to find true love.
Real love comes with patience.
You feel anxious
When you think about them, your heart rate picks up and you get an adrenaline rush. You get a sudden urge to talk to them or see them. It’s more of craving and obsession than the feeling of love. So, think again.
You need them to survive
You can’t imagine your life without them. It’s like you need them in your life to survive. Isn’t oxygen enough? If that is the case then I’m afraid to say that this honey, is not more than an obsession.
You can’t share them
You’re jealous of everything and anything that they love. You wish to get rid of the things they love except you. You can’t stand them talking to other girls or hanging out with their friends.
You cling on to them and expect them to focus on nothing else but you. This behavior is not just unhealthy but really weird too.
Love is rooted in Freedom
Don’t get real love and obsessive love mixed up, it can lead to real trouble. Love should be free, exciting, fun and bring you all the happiness that you deserve.