Couples post cute mushy pictures on their Insta stories all the time. But did you know that behind all the PDA is a face you do not want to see?
You must be envious of these people. That probably means that you haven’t yet seen the dark side. Any committed relationship is a puzzle, filled with silly remarks. You give weird names to each other that one can never grasp.
That is just the beginning of it all.
Here’s all you need to know before you decide it is your thing:
Most, if not all of these facts are TMI. Tread carefully.
The couple nicknames:
We were just talking about this. Well, whenever you run into a couple, you are bound to find yourself hearing weird names.
That’s not all my friends, the names have hidden meanings. You will find them to be gross sometimes (oftentimes).
Now, you may be new to all this. You detest the names when you are not in a relationship. When you are in a long-term relationship though, you will find yourself unable to stop. You will find that these names keep the spark alive. They give your life some meaning, making you feel special.
Cuddle no cuddle:
When you have had a good time in bed, the best thing to do after is to cuddle.
Oftentimes though, you need space for yourself. The redness that results after a long time cuddling is sure to show you why you will take your space.
You can’t enjoy cuddling if you’re sticky and that is a fact. But your partner may be the sensitive type. In that case, there is only one thing to do; calmly pull away without a sound.
No bath for days and… cuddling
When you are with a partner for a long time, you get comfortable. So much so that you stop caring about hygiene.
A couple that stays lazy together, slays together. No doubt about it.
This may sound problematic to you. But it is perhaps the most comfortable thing you can ever do as a couple.
You sniff I sniff odour!
Couples who have been dating for a long time have literally no boundaries. You will be in for a wild ride even talking to people who are in long-term relations. This brings us to the infamous sniff-sniff odour. You see, when you and your girl/boyfriend are about to leave or go out for something, you smell them.
This is let them know if they need some mouth freshener or perfume.
This may turn into your couple ritual. It is a really comforting thing to know that your partner is always around to smell you like a dog. Often times, you will find your self inadvertently smelling his/her hair just cause you like it. Yum.
Prideful burps and farts
The band playing farts through your bum are cheered on (Jk, we hate it) by your partner. If you are not comfortable doing this, your partner will probably normalise farts and burps as common things in your life.
Before you realise it, you will develop deep and mutual understanding because of all this… farting and burping.
And there’s really no stopping it. You are gonna enjoy letting out farts right after sex. She/he will be laughing in tears. It is a loving relationship if you have got to this.
Sharing the restroom to have serious discussions
The bathroom may not be the Parliament of your country. But when you are in a relationship, you are going to find yourself in the midst of the most serious conversations while one of you is on the pot and other in the shower.
Pretty weird if you ask me. But this is your hole and you are the judge.
You will hear, “We need to talk” a bit too often in the bathroom. It is not always enjoyable but it is sure to save you some time in bed. Unless it turns into a fight. Good luck with that one, soldiers.
Is bathroom sex even a thing?
Speaking of showers and bathrooms, you may begin to ponder upon this question. Truth be told, it is subjective in this case. But you are bound to find yourself under the shower together, that is for sure.
This does not mean that you are sure to have shower sex. But making out and fondling each other is something every couple enjoys doing, especially when lathering each other’s bodies.
Make fun of everybody
You will spot couples staring at each other all the time as they move past you. They are seemingly careless about everybody around them but don’t take this for ignorance. Couples enjoy making fun of others.
The couple you saw in Walmart this morning? Probably laughing their a** off talking about you right now.