Playing with the butt: Tips to steady arousal and foreplay! You may have thought that anal play is all about a sexual organ or toy going up a bum, you’re wrong… so wrong.
Anal play has nothing to do with penetration. In fact, penetration is an option. Whether you want to up your ante, or just need an infinite amount of time to let someone in through the backdoor and vice versa, it’s time to master the art of anal foreplay before diving into anal sex. Unlike genitals, anuses are one of the most common body parts you’ll find in every human body. Hence, you can play with the butt with your might.
- Let the other parts have fun too
- Massage those buns
- Have a nice setup
- Slow and steady opens it up
- Start solo before involving someone
- Shower with your partner
- Use your tongue
Although a few people are aware of it, anal sex isn’t as low maintenance as one may think. Everyone knows anal sex as a ‘penis or strap-on going into someone’s butt’ kinda situation, but it’s not as easy as it sounds.
To run, one must learn how to walk. Just like that, to enter someone’s anus, you must indulge in art of anal foreplay.
But, if you aren’t into penetration, you can just play with the butt and end it there. I’m assuming you already know about the basics. Use lots of lube, start with anal plugs and dilators, and don’t put anything in the mouth or vagina that’s gone up your butt. Butt play isn’t just about that.
Here are some of the best ideas to master the art of anal foreplay — for frequent butt visitors and beginners that will make anal sex feel easier, safer, and better :
1. Let the other body parts have fun, too
Yes, I get it, the anus should be the centre of attention during anal sex, but you and your partner will relax way better when you stimulate other parts of the body too.
Use a toy, kiss, go downtown on each other, and play with the nipples, while you also play with the butt.
By doing so, you get a stronger orgasm, and you’ll also be relaxed for penetration if that’s what you’re aiming at.
2. Massage those sweet buns and other places
One thing you need to keep in mind is to treat the buns like an actual door. So, knock before you enter. Massage and warm-up before inviting yourself inside. Your motto should be: Be a good host and a good guest.
3. Have a nice setup
There are times (but not always) when anal sex can quickly turn out to be messy. So, it’s best to prepare the setting where you’d have sex beforehand. It doesn’t have to be something mundane. Light up the candles, have towels by the bedside or on the table nearby, set your toys aside that you’d be using, lube, and other things you might use during sex.
4. Slow n’ steady opens up the way
Anal sex can put your patience to test. One has to put in work before penetration. This is where communication plays a crucial role. Your partner needs to understand the pace you’re comfortable with, and clear things right away if you need your partner to slow down. And this works both ways. It’s all about testing the waters. What feels good, what doesn’t, etc.
When it’s about anal sex, don’t rush anything. Savour every moment, from the beginning till the end.
5. Start solo before involving someone else
For many, the feeling of something going up the bum can be a scary, yet surprising sensation. Hence, it’s best to get a bit of practice in advance. Start with your finger. Trim those damn nails. And then, begin exploring the anal region. A mirror, in this situation, can help to see what you’re up against. Also, use lots of lube before entering. Always start with a finger, before working your way up to several fingers, only if you’re ready.
6. Shower with your partner
Before having anal sex, it is a great idea to bathe or shower with your partner, not just to clean the necessary areas, but to also get in the mood and have a feel of things. It’s also another way to relax and get aroused by enjoying each other’s bodies.
You could whisper sweet nothings to one another, kiss each other passionately, explore the bodies, etc. Try almost anything that can make both you and your partner turned on.
7. Make use of your tongue
Try rimming… only if you feel comfortable doing so. Rimming is all about eating out your partner’s arse. Start by making circles using your tongue around the anus, and later advancing to sliding your tongue inside. This method also helps with the penetration, if you’re both down for that.
Also remember, there’s a risk of contracting infection when the bacteria in your anus transfers to someone’s vagina and the mouth. So, always use a dental dam during rimming and a condom during penetration. And steer clear from double-dipping (a method where you insert a dildo or a penis into someone’s anus and then inserting it either in their mouth or the vagina).
When it comes to the art of anal play or anal sex, not everyone will like it, even if it’s tried and tested. And when that’s the case, just don’t do it. You shouldn’t feel obligated to do it because of your partner. It’s your body. You do you!
But, if you’re open to exploring, but shying away from doing so, for heaven’s sake just do it already. It’s a fun area to explore, really.