When we were kids, we had no idea what to do when we had a wet dream. We generally kept it to ourselves and hoped our parents couldn’t see the evidence written on our faces.
Adulthood isn’t that much different. Anytime we have a sex dream now, we may joke about it with our friends or our significant other, but that’s as far as it goes. We don’t really know what they mean, and, for the most part, we’re too scared to investigate and uncover what they may represent.
You’re in the middle of a seriously steamy sex session. The mood is just right, and whatever your partner is doing feels damn good.
Then, just as you’re about to reach that big O…you wake up. Oh. It was only a dream.
Whether you believe it or not, there are many people who are convinced dreams are more important than commonly thought. For some, dreams mean that there are untouched emotions begging for attention.
If you get caught up in sexual fantasy, know that those sex dreams have meaning, and it might be worth it to dig a little deeper to see what you’re feeling. Also, if it’s about someone you know, be cautious, as it could affect your relationship and make things super complicated.
Here are a few kinds of sex dreams and what they really mean
Your partner cheating on you
You might not always be the star, in fact, you might find yourself dreaming of other people having sex, like a significant other, for instance. If you imagine your partner cheating, it could mean you’re insecure in your relationship and should communicate your issues.
Sex with someone you dislike
Think about why you dislike them. Do they dismiss you? Not let you talk? Perhaps they make you feel insecure. Even though we don’t always like to admit it, often we dislike a person because they make us feel down about ourselves. In some way, in your subconscious, you having sex with this person would be you taking your power back or exerting your power over them.
Having sex in public
Doing it in public is risky, and if you’re taking that risk in your dreams, it could mean you need to be more adventurous in the bedroom. Dreaming about public sex could also be your subconscious rebelling if your partner is less adventurous than you. In that case, it could be a sign that you two need to have a conversation about kicking things up a notch. This is one dream could have more of a literal translation, too. Maybe you actually want to have sex in public.
Sleeping with someone “Inappropriate”
A sex dream with your partner’s sibling? A work colleague? A best friend? All of these people might appear inappropriate, as your relationships with them shouldn’t be sexual. “It is your mind’s way of releasing the feeling; the temptation, validating it, and processing it appropriately. Then, after asking yourself: “What is the parallel of this image/object/person/event in my life at this moment?”
Your mind’s job is to make associations, to connect the dots and make sense of the world.
A super-rich person
This one’s simple: “It could just be that you desire wealth. Sex dreams are not just about what you need, but also what you desire for yourself because sex is all about acting on desire. A dream about boning a wildly rich person could be a very straightforward sign that you wanna be rich, too. But you probably already know that about yourself.
Having sex with an ex
Sometimes your ex shows up in a dream and you wonder if it’s a sign that they are in fact your soulmate and you should rethink your break up.
Most likely, they are in your subconsciousness because you have had some reminder of them in your life.
Maybe you saw a post on Facebook or are coming upon a date that used to be significant to the two of you, like an anniversary. Here’s the catch though: If you find your ex has a starring role in your thoughts, then it may reflect something more and you want to take some time to investigate what that is about
If you are violated and/or abused sexually in a dream, it is worth considering whether something like this has ever occurred in waking life. There’s also a big difference between actually being abused in a dream and fearing that you will be.
If you are worried that you may be recovering from memories of trauma, seek support. Often dreams will reflect sexual trauma that we have experienced in an effort to help us process. Also, “even if you feel certain that this violation didn’t occur in your current life, it can be helpful to understand your experience in the dream as a wound you are carrying.
While dreams can’t predict the future, they can alert your waking mind to conflicts you might be experiencing unconsciously.