Going down on someone can be a major turn on, which is also why some men get carried away and make mistakes that aren’t fun anymore. Everyone can be guilty of this, so here, are women explaining what oral sex givers often do wrong, and the common mistakes men make.
P.S. It’s very important to remember no two vaginas are the same, and therefore what works for one won’t necessarily work for another.
There is no one-size-fits-all rule anywhere. It all comes down to communication, it is key.
Being in tune with a partner’s responses and body language, and just asking them if something feels good is a safe way to proceed and not make mistakes during oral sex.
Here is what some women had to say about their experience:
“Finding the mighty clit: the only amazing thing you can do. Doing everything directly on the clit or too hard right in it: not so amazing. Stop when told you rather than becoming a DJ on my thigh”. – Jess 20
“I’ve had to tell the wayy too many men, even more, experienced ones, that the clit is very sensitive so they need to treat it gently and not like a stone turning.
Going hard on it does not feel good and that’s the mistake most men make during oral sex.
Pulling back the hood and going hard feels even worse almost like hell let loose. My ex would randomly do it anyway because it made my legs twitch. Even after I’d told him a thousand times that I don’t like that and hence he’s now my ex”. – Amanda 32
“I think one of the worst moments I’ve experienced is when I tried to say that he shouldn’t do something, or that I like this instead of that. He just continued and said, ‘I know what I’m doing’ like yeah, Suuuuuure”. – Stacy 27
“I blame stupid porn for a lot but especially teaching men that ‘Don’t stop’ means ‘Change everything you are doing’ or ‘Stop completely’ which is outright weird. It makes me angry when you’re starting to orgasm from penetration and they just pull out and back away because yeah that won’t piss me off.
If a partner stops right when I am reaching the end, the potential for the whole works to be ruined is very high!
And I won’t be interested anymore. This is a mistake men make during oral sex” – Laila 24
“The one thing I hate that just turns it all off is a pointy tongue just digging in. Like, using the tip of it instead of flattening it out cause where is the fun? Then if I’m close to an orgasm and I say that, it means ‘Do everything the exact same’. But they always want to switch it up and then I am no longer close or turned on.” – Kylie 23
“I don’t like it rather despise it when the guy is trying too many moves at the same time, it’s too much. For example, eating me out while fingering my vagina also trying to finger my ass, my focus is distracted. Too much going on doesn’t feel amazing.” – Summer 25
“When I say I can’t handle that, please stop doing that, just stop! It freaking hurts and now I’m not in the mood.
Not one man had clearly understood this line in the clit-sand. And, therefore, it has never been enjoyable beyond about 30 seconds of that basic foreplay” – Sandra 26
Spreading me wide
“Spreading me wide, so damn wide, I feel like I’m going to tear is not fun! There is only so much my vagina can open”. – Emily 28
“Stopping everything the second I begin to orgasm is a major turn off. I want the oral to keep going until I’m finished, or my orgasm stops about halfway there and what a waste that is”. – Lily 30
“Not listening or taking direction and pretending to be a know it all. Also related: thinking they know better than me what I want like they’re god”. – Maria 28
“Don’t just give each thigh one little kiss before going down, I need you to tease me so much that I’m begging you to go down, like please lick me! Because sadly, just immediately going down doesn’t cut it out for me”. – Katie 22
“I had one guy be kinda supportive and say, ‘You have to tell me exactly what to do’.
He didn’t want to do anything until I told him exactly how I liked it, maybe it was a kink. Well for me, that’s different with each person I am with! I gave him my usual preferences and then tried to give him feedback. But he kept saying, ‘That’s not what you said at the start and this is what you asked for’.
That put so much pressure on me that I didn’t want it anymore! When I am blowing a guy. I watch and listen and change things up based off his feedback but at least I try something first to get it started! I would have been better off masturbating if I had to put in all the work”. – Liza 27
The general view of oral sex is all roses when on the opposite it’s not always the case.
Next time these confessions will guide the way to your oral sex life!