Many people believe Elena’s love for Damon was not genuine or pure. Elena’s numerous quotes about hating and changing Damon or loving Stefan provided evidence.
Damon Salvatore and Elena Gilbert were one of ‘The Vampire Diaries‘ most iconic and well-liked romantic pairings. Initially, the show was centred on a love triangle involving Damon’s brother Stefan. Elena eventually chose the older Salvatore brother Damon after many longing stares and heartbreaks in ‘The Vampire Diaries’. But many believe her love for him was not as genuine or pure as it was for Stefan.
“It is you and me, Stefan. Always”.
During the first two seasons of ‘The Vampire Diaries’, it was clear that Stefan was Elena’s first and last love. She admired him for who he was as a person, for his characteristics, and the mutual respect was palpable. They had a healthy relationship, which Elena recognised. It is why she openly discussed him as her endgame. Elena would have most likely found her way back to Stefan and resumed her amazing relationship with him if she had stayed on the show for a longer period.
Elena finally gives in to her feelings for Damon after breaking up with Stefan in Season 4 after becoming a vampire. They sleep together, but it is later revealed that Elena is his child. Because of her previous romantic feelings as a human, Elena has no choice but to obey Damon’s orders. Elena’s true love was Stefan, a man who always respected her. He also, respected her decisions and was a better person overall. She told Damon, who was in love with her. Elena’s love for the younger Salvatore was unique, and it did not die easily. This quote demonstrates that he would always be her first choice over Damon.
“Okay, you and Damon were both right. I was trying to change him. But if he wants to be in my life.”
True love is supported by acceptance. If someone truly loves someone, they accept them with their flaws and as they are, rather than attempting to change them into someone who could potentially be a good partner. Instead of forcing change, you can mutually improve each other. Elena’s problem was that she was always trying to change Damon into a better or different person, so she was always in love with his idea of him. As she told Caroline here, the real Damon was not good enough to be in her life, and her numerous attempts to transform the vampire into someone else revealed how weak her love for him truly was.
Damon was hurting Elena’s best friends while she was attempting to approach him. Damon Salvatore was the first antagonist of ‘The Vampire Diaries’, and he established a pattern of villainous characters slowly seeking redemption. Damon coerces Caroline in the early episodes and would have killed her if Stefan had not intervened in Season 1. Damon also assaults Bonnie several times early in the episode, but she defends herself with magic. Although Damon eventually befriends Bonnie and Caroline, his actions towards Elena’s best friends remain unaffected.
“I am not blaming you, Damon. I have accepted the fact that you are a self-serving psychopath with no redeeming qualities”.
Damon did some of the worst things in ‘The Vampire Diaries’, and Elena went to the lowest level of insulting him — calling him names. It wasn’t the first time she’d referred to him as a psychopath. Hence, to say it to him so many times, Elena must have believed it. Damon mocked her for her righteousness, to which she retorted that it flared in his vile presence. Neither of them liked the dominant characteristics of the other, and Elena didn’t hesitate to tell him where he stood in her life.
Damon would have given anything to save TVD’s powerful villain Katherine in the early seasons because he was in love with her. He was ruthless in his killing, maiming, and compulsion, and Elena had given up on helping him in any way by this point. She made it clear that she considered him psychopathic because of how easily he hurt people to get his way, and she made no apologies for it. It is a cutting and final remark reserved for someone who will never be forgiven again.
“I made myself clear, Damon. I want nothing to do with you”.
Elena repeatedly allowed Damon to prove himself in front of her. Even if he professed his love for her and stated that he would do anything for her, she would show him the door.
Elena was done with him after he used Caroline, attacked Bonnie and Jeremy, and killed Lexi, among countless other crimes. She told him she didn’t want to be around him any longer, but he continued to wear her down.
Tell us if you think Elena was better off with Stefan than Damon in the comments!