Tinder is a widely used app for instant hookups or fetching relationships. But very few use it as a tool for boosting self-esteem and for self-love. For me (Victoria*) Tinder taught self-love and the importance of putting yourself first.
After swiping through hundreds of matches and meeting more than a dozen of them, Tinder provided me with a chance of re-examining myself and my choices.
It gave me an insight into my judgment and a re-check for all the wrong choices.
I have met people from all walks of life and met people who are more than my age. Sometimes even younger, but most of the time my age guys. But somehow, nothing was clicking.
After I had experimented with meeting all types of people (people of my choice) I realised they were not lacking in anything but I was.
The kind of fulfillment I was seeking through ‘external factors’, made me reckon that it is time for self-introspection.
If Living Curiously: Get In!
Tinder taught me self-love
After three years of on and off dating and meeting guys, I realised it was time to put this on hold and re-configure the kind of person I am.
The kind of ‘love’ I was seeking from others was the kind of love I needed to rekindle, for myself, from within.
The Validation in me, for me
didn’t need random people to validate my happiness and rate my face? The kind of validation that I sought had to be given very much myself.
Dressing up for others, putting make up for others and trying to impress was a full waste of time.
Take yourself on a date
I practiced this while in the course of bringing in change within myself where I stopped going on dates. It began with treating myself with all the treats and goods that I’d earlier splurge it on friends-cum-strangers on Tinder app.
I started dressing up for myself, applied makeup for my satisfaction, went to restaurants alone on ‘solo lunch dates’ and even went on solo trips to feel liberated.
And let me tell you, there is a power to that.
I found myself again
In the process of pampering myself instead of expecting it from someone else, I found myself.
I found myself to be much happier and much more independent.
Tinder definitely taught me to be more confident in accepting the kind of person I am. It made me realise, None else can control my joy! I didn’t need a long term partners to fulfill my sexual and other needs. I was sufficient by my own self NOW.
Meanwhile, I plan on enjoying my ‘me time’ I have not returned to Tinder in a year. I plan to start my own fashion boutique next year.
Thank you Tinder, you taught me my self-worth and how to appreciate myself better.
*The name of the Woman in the story is changed to protect the identity.