There’s never a “right” way to respond after discovering your partner is cheating on you. Whether you decide to stay or go it’s going to be a long, difficult road to re-building trust and feeling OK again in a relationship.
No one ever dreams about being the third party in someone else’s relationship. It is never an ideal position because everyone involved always gets hurt. More often than not, it’s the other lover that gets the short end of the stick.
Aside from tarnishing your reputation, you also get half the deal that you originally signed up for.
Your relationship is now a compromised one that is tainted with betrayal and deceit. It is easy to wonder ‘where did I go wrong?’ But infidelity it is not a reflection of you. It was your partner’s choice.
What happens when you find out that you’re being cheated on?
Your emotions are going to be all over the place after finding out about your partner cheating. You are going to need time to figure out up from down, much less figure out your next steps.
Unless you’re willing to continue the relationship which could hurt, the next step to take would be to call your lover out. Some people are scared to acknowledge the problem because of the consequences involved – like losing a loved one or facing the hard truth that someone you cared about lied to you.
Should you stay or should you leave?
The best thing you can do for yourself is to leave the situation before things get out of control. Remember that there are more than two people involved now. You can’t just sweep this under the rug and hope for the best. Being in a relationship with someone who’s cheating only offers a temporary reprieve from being single.
Staying with this person does not promise you anything except for a date whenever the original partner is unavailable.
Your main priority is your own well-being. Would you be happy as the third party? Is being with this person worth hurting someone else?
Trust is one of the main tenets of a strong partnership.
When cheating happens, that value is shattered — and for many couples, saving a relationship can seem difficult, if not impossible.
The first thing is you need is to distance yourself from your lover. You cannot make a decision that’s best for you when they’re involved. Don’t let them influence your decision because they forfeited that right when they decided to cheat on you.
It’s time to think about what you’re involved in and what your next step is. It’s important that you consider every aspect, like why you started dating the person, and how you can prevent this from happening again.
Prioritize your own needs
You still love this person and that’s tragic and understandable, but right now you need to love yourself more and start enforcing your boundaries. This is essential whether you reconcile or end it. Discovery does not always lead to unvarnished honesty on the part of the cheater so put your shields up.
Evaluate your options
It might be hard to make a final decision, but start to lay the foundation for which direction this relationship is going. “Whether you stay together or decide to move on, at this stage, you need to focus on your coping skills. Work through it to forgive or to forget.
Break it off
Even if your lover promises that they will end things with their partner, you have to step away from the situation for a while anyway. Picking up where you left off is not an option because cheating is a serious offense.
Give yourself some time to think about what you really want without your partner muddling your emotions.
Move on with your life
After taking the necessary steps to remove your lover out of your life, it’s time to get back to reality and resume your daily routine. The only difference is that you’re not in a relationship anymore.
A relationship that’s borne out of duplicity will never make anyone happy.