Our friendly neighborhood superhero – Spider-Man confronts a grave chastity crisis. It isn’t a villain’s doing but his own personal choices. Does Spidey choose to stay a virgin, or is he just not suave enough with the women?
Marvel Comics has introduced us to hundreds of characters, most of whom are extremely complex. One of the most famous and complex characters is Peter Parker aka the Spider-Man. Spider-Man is New York’s very own vigilante, who’s been the demise of many bad guys.
However, when it comes to personal life, Spider-Man faces some grave concerns of his own. Parker is still a virgin! Who would have thought? A superhero who is a fan-favourite and the masked heartthrob of NYC, but a poor, loner bum in his real life.
If Superheroes can’t get laid, who can?
Okay, we agree that Peter Parker’s Spider-Man doesn’t align with the archetype casanova image that brings love to folks like Tony Stark aka Iron Man, Steve Rogers aka Captain America and Thor. In fact, he is a geek, whose personal life is incredibly boring. Furthermore, the fact that he is an adult who stays with his Aunt might explain why Spider-Man continues to be a virgin.
It might seem from the outside that Spider-Man gets enough action with kisses while hanging upside-down from a rooftop, poor Peter Parker has unfortunately never seen any action. That said, he did date several beautiful ladies, but apparently, his emotional and physical moments have never reached the desired climax (pun intended).
Why Spider-Man remains a virgin
Spider-Man’s character Peter Parker is a young adult trying to make his way through life. He is poor and faces just as many challenges without his Spider-Man mask as he does when he wears it. During his endeavors, he falls in love a couple of times. First with Gwen Stacy, the petite girl who takes away Parker’s heart.
However, before there could be any chemistry between the two he snapped her neck. Just Peter Parker things.
Spidey then fell in love with Mary Jane Watson – the girl next door. Several fans believe that Peter and Mary consummated their relationship, that too very early. In fact, Peter once went to Mary’s house to bury the bone. Any innocent person would believe that they stuffed the turkey. Sadly, that’s not the case.
Mary Jane’s character means that the couple would not have indulged in bedroom action of any kind. Jane is canonically Christian, and would mostly avoid having an intimacy of such sort.
Recently, it was reported that Peter Parker has a crush on Captain Marvel. How this story arc unfolds would be something to look forward to.
Why is Spider-Man a Virgin
Remember what Uncle Ben told Peter just before he died? – With Great power comes Great Responsibility. Peter may be young but he sure as hell understands the significance of his powers. And he understands the responsibility that comes with it.
Peter simply realizes that he has a more important job to handle rather than, well, getting laid. He has to protect the world from impending doom and keep NYC safe. And honestly, it’s a gruesome but thankless job. A constant and relentless one, which never lets him think about his personal life.
Being a vigilante requires dedication and the protectors of Earth just can’t afford to be in bed when a villain is wreaking havoc on the city streets.
Another Possible Reason (Totally Mind-Boggling)
Spider-Man has an infinite ability to create spider webs. He just has to uplift his hand and there you go – A new spider web exists. Keeping this into consideration, what if Spider-Man has some physical limitations due to the minor technicality of being half spider? What if, whenever he tries to woo and pleasure a woman, he unintentionally ‘f*cks it up’? (again, pun intended)
Whatever the reason might be, our friendly neighborhood superhero is spending too much time protecting the world. And now with Stark aka Iron-Man dead, the entire load of keeping NYC safe is on Spidey’s young shoulders.
It’s almost superstitious now, but we fear Spider-Man might die a virgin after all.